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How to Con your way out of gym class

Feb 28, 2009 12:53 AM
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Not in the mood to do jumping jacks in your hideous gym uniform? There are ways to sit it out.

You Will Need

* Creativity

* A straight face

Step 1: "Forget" your gym clothes

Tell the teacher you left your gym clothes at home, and pray some suck-up in the class doesn't offer you a spare.

Step 2: Fake a sprain

Fake an ankle sprain. After all, if you can't walk, you can't run, and you certainly can't play dodge ball. Limp into gym class with a tall tale about how you just twisted your ankle in the stairwell.

*Tip: Make sure you're consistent with your limping – you don't want to be caught dragging your right leg after you've been hobbling with your left. A bandage will help you remember exactly where you're hurting.

Step 3: Feign a stomach flu

First, dust your face with white powder so you look ghostly pale. Then, ask to speak to the gym teacher. Get right in her face, fake some dry heaves, and run for the bathroom. Trust us, no one will go looking for you.

Step 4: Claim "female problems"

Sorry boys, this one only works for those with uteruses: Tell your instructor that you have unbearable cramps, or better still, a heavy flow. Be graphic about how many tampons you've gone through, and continue adding gross details until she begs you to go.

*Tip: If you have a female gym teacher, she may give you some bunk about how exercise is good for you during your period. Respond by doubling over in pain from your debilitating cramps.

Step 5: Stay home

The foolproof way of getting out of gym class? Stay home "sick" that day and avoid all your classes.

*Fact

Only 17 percent of middle schools and two percent of high schools require daily gym classes for their students.

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